‘Assalam Aleikum‘ — peace be upon you, is a greeting that is meant to invoke God’s peace and blessings upon a person you meet.
But in recent years, I have begun to notice a trend, especially online and in public spaces. The salaam has moved beyond a simple hello. The very phrase meant to offer peace is increasingly being used as a flirtation tactic or a conversation starter filled with entitlement and sexual undertones.
How many of us have had this shouted at us by a man who was just sizing up our body? Immediately after he said “Assalam aleikum” to you with a lewd smile on his face? Disgraceful, I know.
A greeting with strings attached
This greeting, so sacred it’s a prayer and a signal of fraternity, is a right of Muslims. In Islamic teachings, returning the greeting is a duty, emphasising the importance of spreading peace and showing mutual respect.
How does someone turn this beautiful sentiment into a tool for harassing women? Somehow, the salaam is said at you and not for you. It’s very unnerving.
And what makes it worse is that the minute you do not reply or reply politely but with boundaries, they follow up with irritation, guilt-tripping, or even harassment. Personal attacks on you and your appearance in an attempt to degrade you.
“Are salams haram now?”
“You think you’re too good for an Islamic greeting?”
“Sasa waringa?”
“You’re a Muslim sister, you should say wa alaikum salam.”
Another lady told me, “You can always tell their intentions because they do not even say salaam to older women.”
It feels like we are losing the essence of the greeting. It has become a tool to force interaction, a way to bypass consent under the guise of religious etiquette.
Instead of crude pick-up lines, some men use Assalam Aleikum as a halal icebreaker. Approaching women with piety on the surface, but with the same entitlement and objectification that underlie more obvious forms of street harassment.
The sexualisation of Assalam Aleikum reflects a broader trend, where religious language is co-opted to serve male entitlement. Terms like “sister” are used to mask inappropriate behaviour.
Let peace mean peace
The greeting of salaam should never feel like a trap. It should not make women shrink, hesitate, or calculate how their response might be misread. No one should have the power to taint a tradition so near and dear to our community. I have learnt how to tune them out. Most times when a man says salaam to me, l respond without giving it any significance.
If we truly want peace to be upon each other, then we must begin by letting women feel at peace on the street and online.
